Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted. (Eph 4:30)
It was during the early days of my marriage that my wife and I had a huge row. I was still fuming by 10pm and foolishly decided to walk out and go back home to my mother’s house.
The darkness hid my cowardly skulking and the cold sleeting rain my tears.
I could feel the Holy Spirit trying to speak to me, but I didn’t want to listen … then after about 10 minutes I ‘heard’ running footsteps behind me. As they caught up I felt a hand gently searching for mine. I was still angry and shaking the hand away I turned and snapped “GET AWAY FROM ME!”
There was no one there!
‘Something’ in me though told me it was the Lord!
My mother was asleep when I got there so I let myself in quietly and laid on my old bed, I was feeling wretched. What had I just done? It was bad enough falling out with my wife, but now I’d pushed GOD away too! As I lay there in the dark I realised that i had blown it BIG TIME and that nothing mattered anymore. No matter what excuses my mind conjured up, all my pathetic arguments seemed to dissipate into the endless stream of contrite tears from my eyes.
It was hours later when my heart stilled enough to hear His still small voice calling me back – such Joy!
I think I was still apologising to the Lord and my wife for weeks afterward… ❤️